Update: Long time no blog! I have missed you!

Hello All,
I hope all is well in your life and you are abundantly blessed. It has been a long time since my last blog post and I have to say, I have missed it!

Life has definitely been busy, hectic, and stressful. We are going through that time in life where it seems like, just as things are starting to look up, something else always happens to bring you back down. Similar to my post awhile back about one step forward and two steps back. I have tried to maintain my positive outlook and have succeeded for the most part. Recently, however, the stress got to me and it was not pretty...lol. We have all been to that place at one point or another. A couple weeks ago, I starting noticing that I was just not feeling the same, it was becoming harder to be positive, I did not smile or laugh as much, I was just plain tired of being a "happy" person all of the time. At the same time, though, I realized that when I did allow myself to wallow in the negative thoughts, actions, etc. they only resulted in more negativity and I am just NOT that type of person. I was miserable, self-hating, and depressed. I was at a loss as to what to do to change it.

Everyone needs a support system of some sort. Whether it is family, friends, religion, life philosophy, something to sustain you when you feel low. But, nothing is going to change until you take the steps to change them. How many of us sit there thinking, "One day, things will change." They just have to eventually, right? NO, they don't. How can we expect things to change for the better if we are not doing the things that we need to do to better them. Even if the task seems overwhelming, baby steps may be needed, but a baby step is still a step and that is one step closer to positive change.

I can honestly say that I have had an "Ah ha" moment in my life and that may be due to recently turning 31 and realizing that I deserve to be happy, successful, and loved. I have a wonderful family and could truly have not asked for better friends, but the one who was not showing me that I deserved these things was me! I was told recently by a coworker that I reminded her of her mother. At first, I did not know how to take it (especially since it was my birthday and another year older) and the fact that the co worker is only a few years younger than me. What was she trying to say, I'm old...lol...just kidding. But in reality it was one of the best compliments I have received in a long time. She said her mother was the nicest person she knew. She treated everyone she met with respect and kindness and just showed loved and happiness. I mean, WOW! What a beautiful compliment! I was humbled and honored at that comparison.
But, to get back on track. I realized that though I can easily wear my heart on my sleeve for others, it is so hard for me to treat myself with the same love and respect. I just do not do it, like I should. Sure, I will "treat" myself annually or so to getting my nails or hair done and even that has not happened in the last year or two. However, truly accepting myself as I am and loving where I am now as an individual has never come easy. I am always unsure, not liking how I look, not thinking I am good enough, smart enough, etc. This realization hurt deeply, but at the same time was a weight lifted, now I know that I am the only person holding myself back. With prayer, a support system, new realization and determination. I am slowing starting to change the monologue within me to a more positive one. I owe it to myself, my family, friends, and especially children. I am supposed to be a role model for my kids and if they do not see me treating myself with respect and love, how will they learn to respect and love themselves? I always tell them, "Treat others as you would treat yourself" Man, am I glad I was not doing that because I have been treating myself poorly but now I am turning it around and starting to treat myself how I treat others.

Phew! With all that said, I did not intend for this post to be this long, or take this direction, but as most of you know, I am an open, eclectic, crazy mixed bag when it comes to my blog and if this post can help anyone else who may be feeling the way I was come to realization that they deserve to be treated right by themselves, then it is worth it.

You are special. You are a blessing. You have a purpose. You are beautiful/handsome. You are a wonderful creation and deserve to be treated as such.

Much love to you all and you are appreciated <3!

Sharon